Lilac City Momma

Lynn

3 Tips For Talking With Your Spouse About Issues In Your Marriage

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Every marriage has issues. But for those marriages that last, the couple has found a way to discuss and move through their issues in a positive and helpful way.

However, this isn’t something that comes naturally to all couples. Usually, a couple is going to have to put in some hard work in order to get to a point where they can work through any issues in their marriage without resorting to divorce.

So to help you and your spouse get to this point, here are three tips for talking with your spouse about issues in your marriage.

Show Respect Through Your Body Language

Before you and your spouse even begin having a verbal conversation, it’s worth mentioning that you need to begin by showing respect to your spouse through your non-verbal cues and your body language.

According to Sheri Stritof, a contributor to Very Well Mind, what your body is conveying to your partner is just as important as the actual words you’re speaking to one another. If you’re not showing respect through your body language, it can be hard to have a frank and productive conversation. To do this, make sure you’re maintaining eye contact with your partner and that you’re acknowledging that you hear what’s being said to you.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Being Vulnerable

Many times in a marriage, it’s hard for the couple to speak about difficult issues together because they individually haven’t been able to tap into their emotions surrounding the problems they’re having. Because of this, everyone might feel much more defensive than they should.

To combat these issues, Brittany Wong, a contributor to the Huffington Post, recommends that you learn how to open up about your own vulnerabilities when speaking with your spouse. Although this can be hard to do, speaking from a place of vulnerability will help both you and your spouse to see each other’s points of view more clearly and understanding the feelings that are behind your concerns.

Know The Best Ways To Express Your Concerns

Knowing the right ways to start a conversation with your spouse about any marital concerns you’re having can have a big impact on how the entire conversation goes.

To show you how this is best done, Dr. Susan Heitler, a contributor to Psychology Today, recommends that you start by saying how you feel, what your concerns are, or what you’d like. By using words that focus on yourself, you will be less likely to place blame on your spouse. And since the only person you can change is yourself, starting the conversation focused on yourself is ideal.

If you’ve been having problems talking to your spouse about issues in your marriage, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you work through this together.

 

Spark Your Imagination and Holiday Spirit at the Hello Panda Festival!

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Have you ever wondered how other cultures celebrate the holidays? If you’re a curious holiday lover, then it’s a rewarding question to ask. Learning how others celebrate and show gratitude can be so uplifting and inspirational.

China has celebrated the holidays for centuries, long before religious holy days and rituals came along. However, celebrations are all about the spirit, and no one does spirit better than the Chinese.

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From December 6 to January 26 in the Mets’ home stadium of Citi Field, the very first Hello Panda Festival will shine through the nights. It’s going to be the largest lantern festival in North America. Plan on attending and tell people you got to see the beginning of what we hope will be an annual festival.

Hello Panda

The CPAA is a state-run Chinese company that promotes Chinese cultural events and exhibitions. Its North American branch is putting on this holiday bash, hoping to together all people from all traditions. The “cultural” part embraces the fine art of Chinese lantern making, food, arts, music, and other aspects of the culture.

Lanterns

Lanterns have been the basis of Chinese symbolism and celebrations from time immemorial. Variously colored lanterns mean different things like joy, success, or social status. The colors are interesting, too, with red meaning joy, energy, and good fortune. Blue lanterns indicate illness or decreasing energy. The lanterns can be made of silk, bamboo, paper, and metal.

With that in mind, picture it: the tallest Christmas tree in the world made entirely of lit lanterns. Life-sized dinosaurs, wild animals, a castle from fairy tales, and a 98-foot illuminated tunnel. Oh, yes, and pandas. Lots of pandas. Lantern theme parks will be lit with 300,000 LED lights.

But wait! There’s more! You can’t walk through all the exhibits, interactive shows, performances, and lights without sampling foods from around the globe. Asian, Mexican, continental, and of course, Chinese foods will be available for those who want to sample the tastes of the world.

Six immense heated tents will house the traditional as well as modern live performances, art galleries, and holiday items in a market. Music and dance performances in Latin, hip-hop, pop, and more can be sampled along with exquisite global cuisine.

While you’re enjoying the culture, you can even try participating yourself. Instructors will show you how to do paper cutting, embroidery, make art out of cotton candy, and sugar painting. Be sure not to miss learning dough sculpting. Maybe you can take home your own stegosaurus.

Where To Stay

Here’s a tip for traveling to NYC: staying in Manhattan is actually the worst idea. It’s congested and expensive. Just across the Hudson River, there are numerous hotels in Jersey City, NJ. It takes essentially the same amount of time to get from Jersey City to many destinations, including Citi Field.

There are many great hotels to choose from. The Hyatt House Jersey City offers you breathtaking views of the Manhattan skyline. Large, modern suites, free Wi-Fi and breakfast, and a fitness center round out its amenities. The Holland Hotel is a great budget option. Located close to the Holland Tunnel and the PATH train, it’s quite convenient. And the newly-renovated rooms offer a nice guest experience.

Conclusion

There will be over 120 lantern displays for you to enjoy: tall, short, dragons, pandas, gingerbread houses, figures, trees, flowers, Santa and his reindeer — all of this in every color of the rainbow. The night will be alight with the wonder of a different culture in all its tradition and magic. Happy Holidays, Chinese style!

 

 

Steps to Take If Your Heat Pump Is Freezing Up in Winter

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During the coldest days of the winter, your heat pump can truly be a godsend. It’s the only line of defense between you and the freezing temperatures outside. Even a good quality heat pump is not itself immune to the cold weather, however, and you may notice a layer of frost that has built up overnight. While it’s normal for the pump to develop a layer of ice, if too much ice builds up, the heat pump itself will freeze up. Ultimately, this can damage or even ruin the pump. Fortunately, there are steps to take if your heat pump is freezing up in winter.

Learn to Identify a Problem

It is perfectly normal, and not necessarily harmful, for your heat pump to develop a layer of frost during the winter. This isn’t, in and of itself, a cause for concern. Indeed, heat pumps have built-in defrosting features, allowing them to regularly melt any ice that has accumulated before it becomes a problem. Usually, these defrosters work on a timer or a sensor, and they melt the ice off the heat pump by venting heat outward towards the frozen parts.

If your defrosting system is compromised or malfunctioning, however, ice will continuously build up until the whole system is frozen. This risks permanently damaging the heat pump and potentially leading to extremely costly repairs. That’s why it’s critically important for a homeowner to recognize the difference between an ordinary, harmless layer of frost and the beginnings of a frozen heat pump.

Recognizing a Frozen Heat Pump

There are several potential causes of a heat pump that’s frozen—or beginning to freeze—and is not simply frosted. Some are obvious, and others are less so. Regardless, you should learn to tell the difference between a simple layer of frost and a harmful build-up of ice.

The first sign that you’re dealing with something worse than a mild frost is duration. That is to say, your heat pump’s defrosting system can usually deal with a small buildup of ice within about ten minutes. If you notice ice that doesn’t seem to go away after a few minutes of running the defroster, that’s the first sign you have a more serious problem. The thickness of the ice is telling as well. If there’s a thick layer of frost that has built up on your heat pump, it’s a telltale sign your defroster isn’t doing its job.

What You Can Do

Although a heat pump freezing up in winter can be a very serious problem, sometimes it’s possible for you to take care of the issue yourself. This is especially true if the freezing is caused by external factors that you can control. For example, often a frozen heat pump is the result of water dripping into the pump from above. Frequently, dripping gutters are to blame for this.

As water drops onto the pump, the winter cold freezes it before the defroster has a chance to keep up. Over time, this can lead to a massive buildup of ice and cause catastrophic problems, but it is also an easy fix. Simply isolate the source of the dripping water and stop it up. In this case, preventing your heat pump from freezing may be as simple as a few drops of silicone sealant applied in the right spot in your gutter.

Leaves building up on the pump can cause similar issues. A layer of dead leaves will trap snow, ice, and moisture and eventually lead to freezing up. You can deal with this easily as well. Try to keep the pump clear of leaves, and if they do build up, clean them off regularly. If you notice there’s already a buildup of ice forming on the pump, you can often remove it yourself by scraping the ice away. Make sure the heat pump is turned off before you do this, however. You don’t want to risk injuring yourself or damaging your heat pump. And if at any point you’re uncomfortable with the task, it’s always best to contact an expert.

When You Need a Professional’s Help

While some of the causes of a frozen heat pump are easy to fix and require only basic skills, other issues are a lot more complex and will require the help of a professional HVAC technician. Any issues caused by malfunctioning equipment or by electrical problems shouldn’t be tackled without the proper training and certification a skilled technician has.

Indeed, not just any technician will do either. You’ll want to look for highly trained technicians who are NATE certified. NATE stands for North American Technician Excellence, and certification ensures a technician and well-trained and competent.

You’ll also want to read reviews, check references, and talk to other satisfied customers. A poorly handled job can further damage your heat pump and lead to more serious problems and great cost to you. If you live in the Portland or Vancouver area, your best bet is the technicians from Entek. They are certified, as well as highly recommended and experienced.

Problems a Technician Should Fix

A heat pump freezing up in winter is often caused by a small but potentially serious problem. For example, if the thermostat short circuits due to an electrical issue, this can lead to the defroster mechanism not activating when it should. So while the machine remains perfectly capable of removing ice, it won’t know when to do so and will eventually become further damaged from a buildup. Other problems with your heat pump may be more complex. For example, the reversing solenoid coil may have worn out and require replacement.

In either of these cases, you’ll require the assistance of a professional HVAC technician. Unlike with other systems in your home, fixing an HVAC system is not something you should attempt to DIY. Fortunately, if you have a good technician who is a mere phone call away, they’ll be able to provide the repairs you need, as well as perform maintenance so that you can avoid other costly repairs in the future.

Filed Under: DIY

A Stress-Free Guide to Eating Out With Family

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Eating out at a pub or restaurant with family can be a luxury, with the chance to take a night off from the stove and indulge in your favorite cuisines. However, eating out with both the kids and the adults in your family does not always run smoothly. There are many problems that can occur, especially if you have a fussy eater or a hyperactive toddler on your hands.

Luckily, here are some of the best tips that you can try to ensure that your dinner out goes well and that you have the chance to sample the delicacies on offer.

Choose the Right Restaurant

The first step to eating out stress-free is to choose the right restaurant for you and your family’s appetites. If you have kids, some cafes cater specifically for children, with bright pastel environments, toy areas, and lots of available highchairs to keep kids happy. Rather than choose chains which kids might not frequent often, and which might be too busy for you and your family to enjoy yourselves, you should also consider looking at the independent restaurants in your area. These can often cater specifically to your needs, whether that be menu changes or a high chair.

Find a Varied Menu

To ensure that everyone is happy with the restaurant that you have chosen, you should also make sure that its menu appeals to everyone in your family, especially if you are choosing foreign cuisines with unusual flavorings. You should make sure that the restaurant in question has a varied menu from which everyone can pick something that they like. You can often find menus online to peruse before you head out to the restaurant itself. Pubs and restaurants also often have special menus for children or exclusive menus for different occasions, with pubs in Chichester providing a range of menus that include Sunday roasts and vegetarian options.

Provide Entertainment

To stop teenagers from becoming fixated on their phones or kids from getting bored, why not consider entertainment for the younger members of your family while you eat? While many pubs and restaurants provide activities such as coloring and puzzles for younger children, it is also possible to bring your own entertainment in the form of good restaurant games. You should also make sure that every member of the family is engaged in the conversation, which can both help to make eating out a chance to get to know each other, as well as keep your minds off your hunger while you wait for the food to arrive.

Pick the Right Time

Picking the right time for both the adults and the kids in your party to eat is also important. For instance, when you have kids with you, it is vital that you stick to their routine as much as possible, such as eating around naps or bedtime, and ensuring that they do not stay up too late or become tired. However, picking the right time is also important for adults, and you should check that the time is suitable for everyone, so that no-one needs to rush their food for prior commitments that are in conflict with the meal.

 

Helpful Tips to Improve Your Mental Health

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Many people who feel sad or depressed frequently keep their problems to themselves. They are ashamed that people will find out what they are going through. Also, they do not want to be judged. However, keeping your emotions bottled up will not help you solve your problems. It is best to talk to someone you trust like a family member or a close friend. Mental health should be important, so here are some tips worth sharing to overcome depression and anxiety.

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Engage in an active lifestyle

Studies say that regular exercise will help improve your mental health. Exercise can help your brain release happy hormones known as endorphins. You may enrol in your local gym and start a regular exercise regimen with your trainer. Another option is to engage in outdoor hobbies like camping, mountain climbing, and biking, which will keep you moving. People who regularly exercise are known to have better moods as compared to those who live a sedentary lifestyle.

Eat healthy foods

Watch what you eat. Foods like pizza, fries, burgers and soda should be avoided as much as possible. Fill your diet with fresh fruits and vegetables every day. Healthy food choices will make you feel lighter rather than sluggish.

Spend more time with the people you love

Give yourself time to enjoy and relax. Organize a small get-together by having dinner with the family during Sundays. You can set a date with your best friend to have coffee and watch a movie together. Doing this will help you forget your problems in the meantime.

Get quality sleep every day

People who are going through a lot of problems frequently experience insomnia. Despite what you are going through, make it a point to take good care of yourself. Sleep eight hours a day so you will have enough energy to face your problems the next day.

Have a positive mindset

Being optimistic can affect your mental health in many ways. It fights off all the negative thoughts that are lurking at the back of your head. This kind of emotion can cause so much stress to the point that you could suffer from depression and anxiety. If you are going through this situation, it is best to shift your mindset and be thankful for what you have.

Clean your space regularly

If you are diagnosed with an obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD, you are prone to experience anxiety whenever you see clutter. Investing in a fitted wardrobe inside your bedroom can help you organize your stuff appropriately. Doing this will help you handle your health condition. Besides, studies say that having a clean and organized bedroom can promote relaxation and help you manage stress.

Lastly, make an effort to seek advice from a professional. Depression and anxiety are both mental health issues that need attention. A licensed psychiatrist can make a proper diagnosis and create a treatment plan. You could be advised to undergo therapy and counselling for a couple of months until you start feeling better about yourself.