Every marriage has issues. But for those marriages that last, the couple has found a way to discuss and move through their issues in a positive and helpful way.
However, this isn’t something that comes naturally to all couples. Usually, a couple is going to have to put in some hard work in order to get to a point where they can work through any issues in their marriage without resorting to divorce.
So to help you and your spouse get to this point, here are three tips for talking with your spouse about issues in your marriage.
Show Respect Through Your Body Language
Before you and your spouse even begin having a verbal conversation, it’s worth mentioning that you need to begin by showing respect to your spouse through your non-verbal cues and your body language.
According to Sheri Stritof, a contributor to Very Well Mind, what your body is conveying to your partner is just as important as the actual words you’re speaking to one another. If you’re not showing respect through your body language, it can be hard to have a frank and productive conversation. To do this, make sure you’re maintaining eye contact with your partner and that you’re acknowledging that you hear what’s being said to you.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Being Vulnerable
Many times in a marriage, it’s hard for the couple to speak about difficult issues together because they individually haven’t been able to tap into their emotions surrounding the problems they’re having. Because of this, everyone might feel much more defensive than they should.
To combat these issues, Brittany Wong, a contributor to the Huffington Post, recommends that you learn how to open up about your own vulnerabilities when speaking with your spouse. Although this can be hard to do, speaking from a place of vulnerability will help both you and your spouse to see each other’s points of view more clearly and understanding the feelings that are behind your concerns.
Know The Best Ways To Express Your Concerns
Knowing the right ways to start a conversation with your spouse about any marital concerns you’re having can have a big impact on how the entire conversation goes.
To show you how this is best done, Dr. Susan Heitler, a contributor to Psychology Today, recommends that you start by saying how you feel, what your concerns are, or what you’d like. By using words that focus on yourself, you will be less likely to place blame on your spouse. And since the only person you can change is yourself, starting the conversation focused on yourself is ideal.
If you’ve been having problems talking to your spouse about issues in your marriage, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you work through this together.